AN UNFORGETTABLE SUMMER
"Fuji Yama", that's what my mother called the hill...
Mother embellished everything. She had a Mozartian nature.
EASTERN ROMANIN, 1925
A SMALL BORDER TOWN ON TNE DANUBE...
See? I made the ferry!
I win! I told you I'd make it.
Taking me to the ball?
Why don't you answer?
Take me...
Or I'll shoot myself!
I'm fed up with Bulgarian peasants,
with hicks and smugglers...
Give me a taste of civilization!
- What'll you give me? - Champagne.
It's a deal.
- Lily's champagne! - Costs a fortune!
But I want some!
Gentlemen, the house is closed.
We not go.
Here, us work.
Fuck off!
Erji...
What, Erji? Screw you!
Shut up, or you'll be sent to Bela Kun in a box!
Gentlemen...
I'll wait downstairs. It's closed.
- Doctor... - Shit!
It's an order. You can reopen in 48 hours.
It's Saturday, I'll miss the market business!
An order's an order.
Go sleep at the dock with the cod fishermen.
They stink! They're so hard up they'll rape us!
And there are mosquitoes.
That's true.
I've got a heart, here's your key.
Lock them in their rooms.
Keep them there. They can piss in the pot.
And keep the curtains drawn, or else...
Gentlemen!
We're not moving.
Gentlemen, I insist, it's closed!
Want me to tell the General?
That's enough, stop!
Keep them away from the windows.
Watch Erji, she's crazy.
I'm crazy? You're crazy!
Up your mother's pussy!
Your whore of a mother is crazy!
Magyarish slut!
Take a look...
- General Tchilibia! - My baby!
He wanted to pay by the minute!
- My Tsuki... - My Nelu...
- My Michu... - My Miki...
- That's not Miki. - It is Miki!
There's the magistrate.
Magistrate my ass!
He needs a gramophone to get it up.
There's the prince.
Over here, Erji... Come see your prince.
Wait... Damn skirt!
Come, Erji...
Over here...
I'll give them an eyeful!
That's Erji's ass.
Take that away.
Fix it on the double!
Boyards, gallows!
Cut balls to Boyards!
Long live Magyar Revolution!
Long live Bela Kun!
We're not moving.
So, Bela Cunt...
Why do you...
A good ass lets you mock the Romanian Army?
Did we fight for the Great Romania
so that you could sit on it?
The Trevi Fountain!
What a woman! Lucky devil!
She'd make a good neighbor...
You aim too high, Telescope is after her.
Her husband's so jealous,
he might duel him one day.
And their horses... They look good to me.
You want a lot of things!
Look...
The bitch bruised my hand.
Filthy whore!
What a mob! Absolutely devastating, dear.
This place'll bore you to tears.
I'm just as bored in Paris.
We're late, Aunt Helene!
We started without you.
Get to work!
Paris and this hole, it's the same to you?
No difference.
No fundamental difference, in any event.
What a delightful evening!
Thank you!
I'm thrilled!
I'd do anything for you!
I'm giving this ball for you.
So you can meet
the person you have in mind.
Now he's going to strut!
Who's that vision?
You don't know?
Your niece!
The daughter from your sister Sophia's first marriage.
You don't say!
Maria-Teresa von Debretzy. Pretty name, isn't it?
She doesn't look like us.
She has her mother's eyes.
The rest is from her father:
Karol von Debretzy, the Empire's attache in London.
She was born there.
Poor and arrogant!
He gave his lands to peasants but died in Budapest just the same
during the Communist plague.
She was luckier, she was saved
from being raped by our troops, thanks to an archangel.
Who's the archangel?
- A certain Capt. Dumitriu. - The short one?
You guessed it!
That shrimp with a monocle beside her...
She became Mrs.Dumitriu, stuck him with three brats
and learnt to speak Romanian perfectly.
But with a ghastly Oxford accent.
She's never mentioned our kinship.
As arrogant as her father!
Lovely lady, this ball is unforgettable!
Take this flower.
Think that's enough?
I'm giving this ball for you but I have a favor to ask.
Will you do it?
You offend me!
On one condition, be brief! I'm dying of thirst.
My horse for a glass of wine!
My nephew Cesar, my brother's son,
is a soldier in the 16th Regiment.
Discharge him. To hell with your conscription!
Madam, you're using Big Bertha to blast a fly!
Prince!
Prince, come over here.
He'll just be a minute.
Demobilize Private Lascari, of the 16th Cavalry.
Discharged!
Send him back to help out his poor aging parents.
Dear fellow,
if you stuck that monocle up your ass,
what a telescope you'd have!
Look through it and you'll still see the enemy!
I like that cretin!
Sorry... Is he a cousin?
At the top, you're all cousins.
No, he's not.
A cretin, but I like him.
I never dreamed of finding a person like you here...
Remember when I first saw you?
I was riding on the promenade by the Danube...
Your children were in a carriage and there was a woman...
Yes, our nurse.
I thought:
"Who are they? The mother's remarkable!"
Then I saw you
riding with Petrica...
Your card!
I've seldom seen a better woman rider!
I used to be a circus rider
with Budapest's Sidoli Circus.
Petrica bought me there!
You're making fun of me!
I'd jump through rings of fire...
Forget it!
You're a Lascari, a great lady!
400! You raise me?
I'd like to see you again...
There'll be other parties.
I'd like to see you sooner!
I'm busy with the house, the children...
Wait till they get older.
It'll be more of a pleasure to see you.
When?
When the children are bigger.
That's ages from now!
In 5 or 10 years.
Did you win or lose?
I won.
My scarf!
Turn around, Vasil.
No, leave it.
Some poor soul will find it.
I can't afford another one right away.
Keep going, Vasil.
I thought of putting in for a transfer.
Why?
You're fine here. Your commanders appreciate you.
I'll ask for another garrison.
Are you against?
No, darling.
Maybe it's better.
We're so happy!
Look at the lovers...
Next time, I'll cut off his ear.
What will he hang his monocle on?
I'll knock his wig off!
He wears one?
Couldn't you see? Powdered ass!
"Powdered ass"...
Powdered ass!
My decision is final.
Please request my transfer to another garrison.
- My decision... - I'll see to it.
The border? Get me Colonel Gutza.
Not "Nutza", not "Slutza", you fool!
Col. Gutza?
We still haven't replaced that officer...
The one murdered by the bandits...
Yes, the one who had his lips slashed with a bayonet...
I'll send you Capt. Dumitriu from the Division.
Let him have a taste of the border.
Right... a full course meal!
Move it!
Bring the crate this way.
Don't regret marrying me, we won't be long here.
I like it here!
Wake up!
Get a move on!
Eros!
How come Eros is allowed to?
Eros is a dog, you're not.
When I grow up, I'll be a dog.
You'll be a lady killer!
Mom, stop it!
You'll give him bad habits.
I can't help it, Petrica,
he's my lover!
The orderlies are watching.
Come!
Here's some chocolate!
Easy!
Clumsy fools, careful with that!
On its side!
Give me a hand.
We both have blue eyes.
- Mine are hazel. - Blue!
Hazel! The mirror doesn't lie.
It's a lying mirror, a Venetian mirror.
We have blue eyes. I'll shatter it.
All right, I have blue eyes.
The children are next door!
Behave, Petrica!
You're all mine!
"The Blue Danube"!
And now "Papagena"!
It's coming!
Magyarish bitch!
It doesn't matter. A boy must've thrown a stone.
So much for offering chocolate!
Stop grumbling.
Remember, it was a lying mirror.
And I wanted to break it.
My respects, madam. Welcome, sir.
Attention!
Left-about... turn!
Who gave the order to fire?
What idiot fired?
You fool! You warned them!
I'll court-martial you!
Lt. Turtureanu!
Yes, sir!
Move out the wounded.
Begging your pardon, sir...
Did you know Isaia, the officer you replaced?
He had a 11-year-old daughter, too.
This is how they cut off his lips.
They throw them to the pigs.
The pigs eat them!
Good day, madam.
Dismissed.
Admiring nature?
I love it! It's beautiful.
"Fuji Yama"!
Yes, it's beautiful.
Sir, take a shower.
Did you play today?
No more tears?
Daddy, I made a beautiful big castle.
But he stomped on it.
Her, too!
Good day, madam.
Magyarish bitch!
On my back, too, fool!
These tomatoes are soft.
Water's lukewarm.
Don't get upset.
Don't regret marrying me. We won't stay here.
Why not? I like it here.
The soil is real, so are the people.
Like Tolstoy's tales of the Caucasus.
Why leave? We'll be fine here.
We're together, nothing else matters.
We can't eat these tomatoes.
What happened?
They need more water.
Tomorrow there'll be 10 men watering the vegetables.
What's he saying?
Come show me your Fuji Yama.
Over here, soldier!
What's wrong with you?
Don't hit me!
Attention!
Lt. Turtureanu!
Yes, sir.
Report to my office.
Yes, sir.
Calm down...
Sit down.
You were told not to hit the troops.
I'm warning you, next time I'll take action.
Under cover of darkness, the private pissed
on the wall of H.Q. ignoring the latrine.
That's no reason!
They're peasants.
You're drunk. A disgrace to the uniform!
8 days' confinement!
You can hit the bottle in peace!
Soldiers are beaten in every unit.
Not in mine. Dismissed!
Yes, sir.
Fuck you, Monocle! This'll be your last unit, you Hun!
This one's going on patrol.
He can piss in the Danube.
Move it!
Hurry up!
You, get your kit.
Just some lout.
Forget it.
You married a soldier!
A woman like you, married to a soldier!
You can be so silly, Capt. Dumitriu!
And stop smoking, it's bad for you.
He'll screw you over.
He'd screw his own mother.
I got 2 months left.
Once I'm out, I'll cut his throat.
Sound the alarm!
They're calling you.
- What? - They're calling.
What's wrong with you? Stop with that bugle!
Is there a fire?
The machine gun!
Get out Big Bertha, hurry!
Mount!
On your horses, you hicks!
What happened?
Bandits, at Post 16.
Is the captain going there?
With the company. But they'll find no one.
They strike and vanish. We'll never get them.
He got scared and fired.
What fool fired?
Open the stable.
Get another cart.
Get some blankets from the storehouse.
Give me the blanket.
Move that cart, we'll put them on it.
What're you looking at? There's nothing.
Get out of here!
You, too, go away!
Don't stay, ma'am, there's nothing to see.
Let this be a lesson to you!
They'll shoot us.
Shoot us? Shut up, for God's sake!
Over here, children.
Cute little fellow
how old are you?
And you, you're very pretty.
What are you saying?
Don't worry, we won't harm them.
What're they doing in the vegetable garden?
I ordered them to water it.
Why are they here?
We arrested them for the inquiry.
They're not the bandits
who strike at night at the border.
But Secret Police are making noises, picking out scapegoats.
And they sent them to me!
I'll interrogate, make reports...
- What happened, exactly? - You don't know?
Soldiers were killed at Post 16.
How many?
Eight.
Stay with the children, your books,
the harpsichord we brought.
Last night, I heard soldiers talking.
What about?
About what they saw.
Yes...
They mutilate the bodies.
You saw them?
You shouldn't have.
The Bulgarians want Southern Dobrogea back.
We took it in 1913, we don't want to give it back.
They're all the same, darling.
When I was sub-lieutenant,
fresh from the Academy, I did a tour of duty here.
We took them by surprise,
after they'd taken the Greeks by surprise,
who'd taken the Turks by surprise,
who, and so on...
Are those peasants working for free?
I'll pay them.
Got to go. The police are waiting.
They haven't eaten today.
My friends...
Did they give you lunch?
They gave us nothing, madam.
Why's she asking that?
It's our last meal.
Need a full belly to face God.
Please, help yourselves!
Please...
God bless you, madam...
But we'll soon be going home.
Better to start out on a full belly, Petco.
Help yourselves...
Bless you!
Help yourselves.
God bless you.
My husband'll pay you for the day.
Why pay us?
You've already paid us.
You shouldn't.
Yes, Dimitar, we should!
This is different.
When I come to your homes,
you'll greet me with bread and cheese.
The table will be set!
But you should be paid for your work.
And that's final!
Cheers!
Then let's not waste time.
We'll do good work, like at home.
You Bulgarians, look at me.
Listen carefully to the soldier.
Go ahead.
Dimitar Botev... Then Petco Stancev...
Bulgarians, over here...
You'll catch a cold in the shade.
Watch the lettuce.
Come on, hurry up!
Sit down.
Closer together!
Quick as lightning, these Bulgarians!
Look at me!
Don't hit me, officer sir!
Petco Stancev...
They're grinding him up.
Dimitar Bocev...
- They hit you? - Killed me.
- What? - I asked if they beat him.
So?
They beat us all. But he's scared.
Memet Sabri...
Here, Petco.
Why do they hit us? We obey them all!
Under the Bulgarians, we paid taxes, got drafted.
Same under the Romanians!
Why're you lying?
At school, we sang for Bulgarian Czar Ferdinand.
The Romanians were the bad ones.
Now my kids sing for Romanian King Ferdinand.
The Bulgarians are bad!
What can we do?
Czar Ferdinand, King Ferdinand... Same thing!
The bandits are Macedonians.
Who speak Romanian!
Memet can't speak Romanian, he speaks Turkish.
He's a Turk!
Christo Jivcov...
Good night, my friends...
'Night, ma'am.
Louder: "Christo Jivco"!
Go, Christo, tell me about it after.
You two, take your posts at the gate.
Don't let anyone near.
Shoot on sight.
Go eat, then report to me.
Yes, sir.
You're not in bed?
You're not eating?
I'm not hungry.
I'll take some salad.
Don't you like the salad?
I do.
Go to bed, I've got things to do.
Why did you beat them?
Damn!
I've been ordered to shoot them.
Shoot them?
Yes, shoot them.
We bring them into the woods and shoot them.
As a reprisal, to teach the Bulgarians.
No, of course not!
But I'm an officer.
An officer follows orders.
Leave me alone! I know!
Let me think.
Sir, Headquarters on the phone!
Get lost!
Go away! Want to get killed?
Hello, Capt. Dumitriu?
What's he up to?
Capt. Dumitriu here, Colonel.
The order's been carried out?
Sir, I need a written order.
Are you mad?
Carry it out on the double then report to me!
Before or after the execution?
After! After!
Sir, I need a written order.
Go to hell!
Platoon, attention!
Bugler, look alive!
Jump down!
Hit the dirt!
Reform!
Faster!
Jump back!
Hit the dirt!
Pour on the roots.
Like this?
They'll shoot us.
They'll shoot us...
Shut up, you black crow!
Pour some there and it'll grow.
Christian, Betty, come in!
Are you still afraid of us?
Go, your mother's calling.
Why should I be afraid?
It's up to him if he wants to be a gardener!
Can't be worse than a soldier!
Go away!
- Is that your wife? - Yes.
She's pretty!
She's pretty but can't speak.
All she can say is: "Petco, Petco!"
Will they keep us long?
No, they won't keep you.
What'll they do?
They'll let you go back
to your wives.
I don't think so.
If you'd seen their faces!
I'm telling you they'll let you go.
After, you can come back...
For the garden, as day laborers.
Yes, sure, we'll come back.
If they're letting us go, why all the guns?
Why chase away our wives?
They're jealous of you!
They're furious with the bandits.
But the bandits aren't Bulgarian!
Yes...
Go away! Want to get shot?
So, what's this? You want a written order?
Yes, General.
I'm here, but you want it in writing?
Sir, I need a written order.
- How dare you! - Leave us alone.
You know your career is at stake?
You're an educated intelligent officer,
which is rare in the Romanian army!
You went to military academy in Germany...
Soon, you could be commanding a regiment.
If there's war, you'd get your general's stars!
With your Prussian mind, when you're my age,
you could head the General Staff!
Your wife has well-placed kinsmen...
The Lascaris have the ear of the Queen.
Dear fellow, let's forget your pretty little scruples.
Now, if you refuse,
you can kiss your promotion goodbye!
You, a man born to lead entire armies to victory,
you'll rot under the command of fools like him.
Every old idiot will be promoted ahead of you!
You'll end up piling puttees
instead of piling up military honors!
Think it over for a while.
Let's go for lunch.
Where can we get a decent meal?
How's your wife?
Sir, do us the honor of being our guest.
My wife'll be delighted.
With pleasure... And think it over!
You've a merry band of children... Be sensible!
I'll make the right decision, sir.
The country is extraordinary.
The people, the scenery, everything's extraordinary.
For instance: there's "Fuji Yama"!
Isn't it beautiful?
More beautiful than the real Fuji Yama!
And the Danube's nicer here than in the Black Forest?
But it's true!
Much nicer! As for the people...
To think, Colonel, you wanted a posting in the capital!
They're set up here!
You have a setter, a harpsichord...
"Sweet, sweetmusic!"
The bandits need some soothing!
To the spirit of Romanian women, who tame the savages
and make the desert bloom!
"Woman's will is God's will!"
This salad, which I'd love to have more of,
is proof of that.
Absolutely delicious,
this salad a la Dobrogean!
There's a story to this salad.
It shouldn't even exist.
You should've seen the place when we got here!
Fortunately, the Bulgarians watered the garden.
Vasil, have you served the Bulgarians?
Yes, ma'am.
The Bulgarians matter to you...
Do you feel sympathy?
I feel sympathy for all the wretched.
And for our murdered soldiers, too!
What's been done for the families?
Who's looking after them?
Our government, madam.
You needn't worry.
And who's looking after those peasants?
They're Romanians, too!
In a war, wouldn't they serve in the Romanian army?
Who looks after them?
The government, again.
It looks after them.
Thank you for lunch, madam.
Hope to see you...
Meet me in 10 minutes.
Speak to him, madam. Make him see reason.
He's a stubborn one!
You Bulgarians, get to work! Grab your shovels!
Water the plants!
It's not in his power.
The Minister called Tchilibia,
Tchilibia, Telescope, the colonel... nothing in writing!
What'll you do, Petrica?
"Fuji Yama"...
Shit! What a simpering bitch!
And Magyarish!
Don't be a fool, this is your chance.
Telescope is furious with him.
Go ahead, it's in the bag!
All right, I'll go! Shut up!
Powdered ass!
"Fuji Yama"...
Powdered ass!
Busy!
The General is busy.
Greetings, Captain!
I suggest your wife change her attitude toward the enemy
and toward your superiors.
General, I submit that,
since my wife isn't army personnel,
she doesn't have to take orders.
But she has to criticize orders?
General, I submit not.
When I get an order, I carry it out!
Good!
Much better. Bravo!
You're complicated, dear fellow!
How will you settle the case?
Not that it's my business...
Anyhow, do as you see fit.
Call me when it's over.
Then write up a report:
"Attempted escape while under attack from bandits..."
Sir, I need a written order.
So this is it?
Take me for a fool?
Colonel, relieve him of his command.
The lieutenant replaces him.
Captain, you're dismissed.
Fall in!
Hurry, close ranks!
You Bulgarians, we're taking you home.
Darling...
Officer sir...
- Don't kill us! - We did nothing!
Shut up!
He's a Turk, why take him?
Turks get equal rights!
Don't kill us!
Stop whining! Only you have the right to kill?
Get up, or I'll kick your ass!
We have children!
And our men didn't? Get up!
Pull yourself together.
My friends...
Don't give up on us! They'll kill us!
No talking to them!
What's the matter, Petco?
Where are you going, friends? I haven't paid you!
Don't you understand Romanian?
Ma'am, they'll kill us!
- Don't be a baby. - They'll kill us!
Why? You've done nothing!
I'm not allowed to talk to you...
Once you're free,
come get your pay.
I have work for gardeners.
We'll come!
Stop whimpering!
Shut up!
Forward!
Faster!
Pick it up!
Move your sorry butts!
It's brown, rotten, wilted...
Throw them to the pigs! The pigs'll eat them.
Captain, you seem to be intelligent...
Is yourwife a communist?
Sir?
You deaf, or just playing the fool?
Didn't you hear my question?
Is yourwife a Bolshevik?
I don't understand, sir. My wife's mother...
You stupid, or just pretending?
Forget the mother. Where did you meet her?
In '19 in Budapest, you served under me.
There was a revolution...
We burnt the red flag of Bela Cunt...
My wife's not a communist. Her mother...
That damn mother thing!
Why did she have to take sides with the peasants?
I have two confidential reports...
That makes two scoundrels in my unit!
It's not your unit any more!
The scoundrel is the officer who marries a Magyarish enemy...
...who refuses to carry out orders,
who causes me to hear at the Ministry:
"Under Tchilibia, there's been insubordination!"
I'll court-martial you!
With the case I've built against you, you'll spin
from garrison to garrison like a top!
Your furniture'll be in pieces! Got a harpsichord?
Don't touch the harpsichord!
I piss in your harpsichord!
I'll stick you with commanders who'll bust your guts!
I'll demolish you!
You'll retire a captain,
a worn-out old grunt.
Sir, my wife isn't a Magyar.
Her mother's a Lascari, a Boyard.
But what about her father's name?
It's the name he was given, but her mother...
You pathetic shit!
Allow me...
Get the hell out!
Need it in writing?
Very well, sir.
I wanted to ask...
You know Erji, the whore...
She's close to Mrs.Dumitriu, right?
They're in the same field?
I mean, from the same town: Budapest.
Want to duel with me?
Sorry, Captain, just a private joke.
Out of curiosity.
I shouldn't have. It was irrelevant.
If you wish, I'll apologize.
My apologies, then.
You're transferred to the 90th Infantry.
Dismissed.
Petco, Petco!
Vasile, faster!
He's coming when, Petco?
He's coming when?
Christian!
A curse on you!
May God strike you down!
The earth swallow you up!
May the plague tear you apart!
Take him!
Run!
"Mother..."
"He's coming when, Petco?"
I asked her the next day...
My mother wouldn't answer.
Then she took to drinking and I forgot Petco.
But I never forgot that summer.
It was an extraordinary summer,
the most beautiful of my childhood.